Dear Maternity Clothes Manufacturers of America:
Just curious as to whether or not you have ever met a pregnant woman?
Because based on all the clothes I have been trying on, you apparently think we grow exponentially in the belly and everything else stays the same or gets smaller. I have been down this road twice. And the majority of my female friends and acquaintances have as well. And let me tell you something – ain’t nothing getting smaller.
Okay, because I have more or less maintained my starting weight during this pregnancy, my shoulders and collarbone area are smaller. Everything else below my collarbones, though, from boobage to ankles, has gotten bigger. As is the case with most women. Even those who look like they are “all baby” get wider thighs, broader hips, and more “upholstery” everywhere.
Which is why I find it particularly galling to try on clothes that practically fall down in the belly, stretch across the butt (how does THAT happen?) and are incredibly skinny in the thighs. I try a size up, and everything falls down.
Also? Short women get pregnant. Just thought you might want to know, since every damn pair of pants I have tried on are miles too long. Like, I could make another pair of pants out of the fabric I have to get rid of. And I am not Lilliputian short, I’m 5’2.” Short-length pants are cuff-able, but regular pants, forget it.
And? Even people who don’t want to spend thousands on their maternity wardrobes have a sense of chic. Plain, boring tee shirts, ugly polyester-clingy stretch pants, and dorky little florals are not things I prefer to wear when I am not gestating, what makes you think I would now? When I am crabbier?
(although here’s a sign the hormones are kicking in: I saw a matching nightgown-onesie set and actually considered it. Let us just discuss The Ugly possessed by both items. The nightgown was barely a notch above hospital gowns in style and pattern. There were teddy bears involved, I believe, and perhaps some depiction of pacifiers or bottles or some such. For a grownup).
Here’s what we want: attractive, simple, well-made clothes in natural fibers that fit a range of sizes. Some acknowledgement that every bit of our bodies change, not just our bellies. Personal style, at, hell, a reasonable price (a girl can dream, right?).
Amy I. Motown