Wednesday, August 08, 2007


(The Grouchketeer Cheer, for those who don't rot their children's brains with Sesame Street).

It is fucking HOT here. Hot. And humid. Yesterday we went to the zoo for Member Appreciation Night. We hopped the train to get to the back of the zoo, and as we were riding we suddenly headed into a wall of rain. We all got soaked (my darling daughter because she ran in the rain and stomped in puddles, and then complained loudly that her shoes were wet the rest of the time). It's so humid that two hours later, as we were leaving, my hair was still damp. My hair is typical thin soft white-people hair and usually dries in minutes.

It's too hot to sleep, even with the AC on in our room. Our window unit is loud, so it's either suffer in our hot room or be awakened frequently by the AC unit. Since I hate being hot more than just about anything in the world, I'll take the frequent waking, but it's doing nothing for my deep crankitude.

I'm constantly low-level nauseous, which I think has little to do with the pregnancy and everything to do with the heat (since during a brief rainy reprieve yesterday I ate like a damn lumberjack). I can't make myself eat much, which means I'll suddenly realize midafternoon I am about to keel over from low blood sugar. Normally I love to cook and right now I canot make it happen. I'm pickier than my two year old daughter. Vegetables? Gross. Meat? Are you TRYING to make me throw up? Yogurt? Yum, no, wait, yuck. Even chocolate and ice cream are nasty (I may have developed a mutliple personality, because that is atypical to say the least). Picky eaters irritate the living hell out of me, so it's doubly irritating that I have become one!

Also. the World's Most Annoying Event aka the Woodward Dream Cruise is coming up, which means idiots who cannot read a fucking CALENDAR and do not know the Dream Cruise is NEXT WEEK are lining Woodward with their lawnchairs, staring at....traffic. Regulat day to day traffic. If I ever have such a low capacity for entertainment, shoot me on sight, please. However, those idiots bring out other idiots who take out their classic cars and clog one of Detroit's major thoroughfares for days before the event. Apparently no one has an actual life and need of living it along the road that week, it's all for Bubba and his friends. I have gone just the weensiest bit road rage crazy over the years and may possibly have flipped off a cruiser. Or twelve. Or driven down the road yelling obscenities. The event's bad enough, but it's a day; it's the spillover that really brings on the rage.

And? Major in-law time coming up. Enough said there.

So--how do you nice people battle nausea, heat, stupid-ass rednecks, and stick-in-the-mud in-laws who act as if you are a deeply odd person when in fact you are so average as to be boring? Tips?


Em said...

I cannot stop laughing. When I do, I will give you my tips...although sitting in a drippy, hot effing mess tends to fry your brain and make it non-functional. (can you tell I am just a tad crabby that the air at my place of employment has taken a shit?? Yeah, what a day to shit, AC...)

apt said...

Cave. I highly suggest finding a nice cool underground cave and waiting out the next few weeks. I have never been so excited about the end of summer.

Dream Cruise: grrr...

I'm considering a family trip to the State Fair in a few weeks. I'm wondering if you've been there with a toddler and what you think about the idea. Willa's animal crazy right now, might be fun.

pnutsmama said...

oh amy, you just make me laugh so much! i love it! and i hear you on the heat- yech, it was (is! still!) 86 degrees at 10:38pm est! and like 4000% humidity. soooo nasty.

ok- low level nausea- i used to just keep eating crackers with a little flavor but not too much flavor to be nasty. like normally a wheat thin is delightful, not when i was pg. more like a sesame flavored toasted. sometimes i'd add some cheese, plenty of water and maybe some gatorade (whatever your favorite flavor is- mine is lemon lime).

for heat- before the central a/c (insert angels singing hallelujah chorus here) we bit the bullet and bought a more expensive panasonic that really was quieter. we had a ceiling fan also for white noise (and the fan, duh). we tried to get out of the house during the day and into any kind of store (supermarket, target, kohls, barnes and noble, etc) that would be baby friendly during non-nap times. if they had a play area, so much the better.

rednecks? hmm, we don't have too many of them here in nyc, but when i see them while traveling i just sort of enjoy the novelty. but i too fall victim to the rage of the road. my husband is 1000 times worse, though.

in-laws. oh, i hear ya sister. i would have a bunch of places they could take maggie by themselves (even a local playground or store) and play up just how helpful they are to give you that hour so you can do xyz chore that you just haven't been able to get to, or run out and do an errand by yourself. i swear i brought my laptop and got some work done in the parking lot of a local park one afternoon while they were here. they love their grandkid, and i needed some space.

sorry i hijacked the comments again. you inspire me!

Teachermom said...

Hey - congrats on the pregnancy! Wonderful!

Heat at night? We had a window a/c in our bungalow before the central a/c - if you are planning on not putting central air in any time in the near future, it might be worth your while to invest in a quieter unit. We also spent some nights on the pull-out couch in our basement, but that was before we had kids. But we are now in a cape cod with central a/c and better circulation, and I still roast in our room at night because I'm not willing to set the air below 76.

During the day? two words - SPRINKLER PARK! I know there is one in Redford (by the post office), and I think it's free. Also a GREAT free one in Plymouth at the township park. It's nice because you stay nice and cool while you're standing there with la nina.

We totally missed member night at the zoo - somehow I missed the mailing, and then yesterday I looked at the site and lo' and behold, we'd missed it by a day! I was bummed. don't even et me started on the Dream Cruise...

Oz said...

With the heat and the pregnancy, the only thing I want to eat lately is gazpacho and lemon sorbet. I've eaten buckets of lemon sorbet.