Friday, August 24, 2007

Dribs and drabs

Some people hate posts like this. Some love them. I am both in the Love category and too effing hot to flesh out any of the post ideas I have so it's time for.... tidbits.

1) So it turns out my MIL does have cancer after all. It's sad, my heart breaks for my husband, and I would do anything I can to make things easier, of course.

That being said, WOW has it apparently unleashed The Mean. I just trashed a long post I wrote about some egregious behavior she showed me. She's been telling people off right and left, screwed over her middle son badly and has been essentially been the opposite of her usual passive-agressive self. It would be funny, if I weren't worried she was going to go after me next. I know there are psychological reasons people facing serious illness lash out, but is that an excuse for saying and doing things that in normal times would destroy relationships? She has no friends and strained relationships with much of her family and her husband's. Now I know why. SHEESH. I am praying for strength, grace and the ability to dodge whatever she aims at me. I keep repeating this rule my wise and fabulous friend Tonya gave me for dealing with difficult people: "You don't have to swing at every pitch."

2) On a lighter note: It's summer, I'm pregnant, it's hot. My brain has turned to mush and that means reality TV. Top Chef? Last episode? Holy crap, I can chop onions faster than that and the main reason I didn't go to culinary school a couple years ago when I was considering it is that my manual dexterity and thus knife skills BLOW. Also, I was developing a little crush on CJ, until he showed his snakelike ways. Dead to me.

3) I notice many of the fashhions of my youth are coming back into style almost completely unchanged. It's honestly kind of funny --I flip through magazines or catalogs and I swear I've already owned half this shit, worn it past its expiration date and given it to St. Vincent de Paul. I've always had a Thing that if you were old enough to wear the trend the first time around, you should stay away from it the second time. That being said, some of the looks I know look good on me. Temptatious. Also, WTF is up with Old Navy? Last time I was in there, everything looked like maternity clothes! Big bonus, because I God willing will be wearing lots of those this fall and winter and then can look all trendy (if utterly ridiculous) once I have the baby. But still, I remember the women I babysat for wearing these styles as maternity clothes back in the early 1980s. Two bad trends that look bad together, methinks.

4) So I had a dream about an ex-boyfriend last night. What makes this funny enough to be blogworthy is that Paul, Maggie and I were on this great family trip through Europe, and then I ran into Ex and realized "Oh right, we're together" and off I went tra la. Until, not only did Dream Me remember what a crappy boyfriend he was in life, but remembered a previous dream I'd had where we got back together (no Paul in that one) and he'd been great for like a week until he was right back to his crappy ways and I'd dream-dumped him then too. Apparently my subconscious is a slow learner. I almost never think about this guy in life unless I see his name somewhere (we're in the same line of work, and he and a bad experience in college led me to the No Intra-Profession Dating Ever No Seriously Never rule. Scarily, Paul's job is edging ever closer to mine but he is keeping the "Assholic-I-Am-The Second-Hemingway-or-Maybe-Bukowski-or-Even-Hunter-S. factor" extremely low thus far).

Thoughts? On 80s fashion on the not-25? On difficult and seriously ill mothers in law? On why the hell this ex keeps showing up in traveling dreams? Guilty pleasure reality TV?


msuspartan99 said...

fashion coming back... any word on stretch pants/stirrup pants coming back? i have been waiting for those things to re-emerge for decades.

apt said...

Maybe you're dreaming of traveling to see what it would be like if you were elsewhere? Seems like your subconscious likes where you're at, and dream-dumps other possibilities. Yay for good choices!

The new fashions are making it difficult for those of us who are not pregnant and have suspicious/impatient friends and family. I know if I wore one of those tops, eyebrows would hit the ceiling.

Tonya is indeed wise. I'm sorry your mother-in-law is being cruel. Hope your prayers are answered.

pnutsmama said...

ok, on the lighter side, i have been wondering that exact same thing about fall fashions!! i keep saying to my husband- these people are on to something, they know that the obesity epidemic is on the rise and folks like me haven't been able to lose the post-baby pooch so why not embrace your flab with swing tops, empire-style shirts, trapeze tops, etc? nothing says "it's ok to be chubby in the midsection" like free-flowing shirts. thank god. b/c i can't pull off the tight tshirt unless i am enjoying a very bloat-free day. sorry for the TMI!if i do get pg this fall i am happy that the shirts will be belly friendly. i'm hoping it stays that way post-partum as well.

on a not-as-light note, i'm sorry about your MIL. losing a mom at any age is difficult, even when the mom is a difficult person. my mom had a lot of control issues and she was angry A LOT. surprisingly, towards the end of her illness she let go of a great deal what was oppressing her, and we had some wonderful and healing and forgiving and emotionally healthy final weeks/months. i wish they had shown up sooner, but i was glad to have them at all. it doesn't change my insanity of re-cycling her not-so-great mother-role-model on my own girl, but thank god i have some perspective on it even when i get caught up in the daily stuff.

she used to read the meditation books cardinal bernadin wrote when he was fighting his own cancer and i know she found a lot of peace and comfort in them- maybe you could pick one up for her? cancer has many of the same stages as grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance- she has to journey her own path and get through them all, and it can be hard for the people around her as she does it. hang in there!

p.s. more pregnancy and maggie updates!

nejyerf said...

delurking to say the following:

i love posts like these. lots of information to digest

1) My mother-in-law died very unexpectedly last year. things were left unsaid, grievances left unaired, issues forever unresolved and in some ways it was easier. it was just over and done with. my husband seems to have a load lifted from his shoulders. i don't think he really realized how much she affected him.

2)TOP CHEF - baby!!! Please tell me you think Tom Collicchio is the hottest thing going? Cause I just love him. And you are spot on with your analysis of CJ. I think he's next to go. Hung is going to win it all if he can just quit spazzing out.

3)Suspenders. Suspenders are coming back. I wrote a post about them a while ago. Pegleg pants too. Dreadful things, those tapered pants. Definitely not meant for the pear-shaped woman

4)i got nothing for you on the dreams, other than to admit that i a have a regular sexy dream about a guy i went to high school with. and for some reason we can never consummate our love. apparently i can't cheat on my husband...even in a dream. i've learned to accept it.

Oz said...

Even 31 weeks in, a full 70% of my "maternity" clothes are not maternity at all - they're just big ole stretchy dresses and empire waist tops that work on pregnant girls, and make the non-pregnant girls look all pregnant. Good for us, bad for them. And I love Top Chef. Reality TV + food = perfect television show for being pregnant.

tripmom827 said...

Yeah...I'm not really into the whole maternity-looking clothing for non-pregnant people. I have a very large fear of someone saying to me: "When are you going to have that baby, anyways?" and, then I'll have to tell them that she is 8 weeks old and I'm just fat and that will be uncomfortable for` everyone. Also, I love Big Brother, which is sad, and I am curious about Brett's comment, since I can't ever recall stirrup pants being an acceptable pant choice for men! :-). Sorry to hear about your MIL...I'll keep her in my prayers.