Monday, February 06, 2006

Uncle Mark

My uncle, my mother's youngest brother, has been battling cancer for the last couple years. He died this morning.

I don't feel all that sad for myself -- he was a good man, but quiet and reserved and kind of hard to get to know. I feel really sad for my mom. She's been going down to Ohio, where he lived, every week to spend time with him once she learned there was noting else the doctors could do. She said her goodbyes last week. My mother drives me crazy on a daily basis, but I think that was a hard and brave thing to do and I am proud of her for it. She said this morning, when she called to give me the news, that she and her siblings who were there all thought he was going to die yesterday. My mother is one of eight children, and he was the youngest. Thank God for that big family standing around him. He was divorced, and close to his son but didn't have too many friends, it seems. Had it not been for my wonderful aunts and uncles, he could have died alone instead of surrounded by love like he was. I love my family.

Now the funeral, and trying to be a good daughter to my mother who deals with pain by lashing out at those she's closest to. I still remember her screaming at me and calling me names after her mother's funeral--for something I didn't do, no less. Please pray for me, and for her, and for him. I know he's in a better place and I keep thinking that now, he finally gets to reap the rewards of the good life he led. Pray for my cousin, his son, who is newly married and should be enjoying married life instead of burying his father.

Paul started his new job today and I can't call him, so he doesn't even know yet. Let's hope his new, generous employment package includes bereavement leave for an uncle-in-law because I can't take Maggie down with me and my head spins at the kind of child care patchworking I'd have to do. It's important to my mom that I go to the funeral--she actually came out and said that, so I have to find a way to make this happen.

I keep trying to find a way to wrap this up, and I can't. So--Goodbye, Uncle Mark. Rest in peace.

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