NOT so Blissfully Bitchy today. Just plain old Bitchy.
Annoying work shit. Annoying computer shit.
Smug people push my buttons in a big way. And in the parenting arena, the Crown of Superior Smugness seems to go to the Natural Birth, Attachment Parent, Sacrficing On the Altar of Mom people. I dont know if this is actually true or if it just pushes my particular buttons, but I feel so freakin' JUDGED for having a c-section and for doing some sleep training.
Had I not had the c-section, Maggie could have died. Not an acceptable outcome. I still maintain that any mother who heard that heartbeat slow down to nothing like I did, and wasn't ready to get the baby out themselves with a grapefruit spoon if need be, doesn't deserve to be a mom. It not your "birth experience" you simpering moron, it's your baby's. In short, it's Not. About. You.
As far as sleep training, Miss Magpie was not one of those kids you could put down "drowsy but awake." Or, for the first few weeks, put down to sleep at all. That was fine--but when we started bedtime at 7 and were finally sneaking out of her room at 10:30 (often, for me, with then a few hours of work still ahead) something needed to change. She didn't need a later bedtime, she was clearly cashed at 7. Once in, she slept through the night without a problem. And she was up at 7 am, sunny and pleasant, no matter when she went to bed. I rememebr (dimly) how frustrating it was. You could tell how desperately she wanted to sleep, but she just couldn't do it on her own. Rocking and rocking and rocking for hours wouldn't do it, just hoolding her didn't do it, nursing didn't do it, slinging didn't do it. We'd rock her (for like an hour) until we were pretty sure he was out, place her in her crib, only to see those big blue eyes pop open and she'd be wide awake and wailing. Start again, for another hour or two.
Ferberizing took three nights and a maximum of fifteen minutes each night (we did the five minute check and the ten minute check, then she slept). She didn't cry inconsolably for hours alone in her crib, as many people think Ferber is.
Now, when she's tired, she gets placed in her crib, and she settles right down. She always gets responded to if she cries at night--she was a sound sleeper and didn't get up to play or whatever almost from the beginning, so we know if she's crying, she needs us. She's absolutely loved and responded to, aand I loathe when people consider it an "attitude problem" that you want your baby to be able to go to sleep on her own. This is seriously one of the happiest kids I have ever met, and while about half of it is just her, a good bit of it is our responsiveness and attention to her, and I resent being sloughed off as a Bad Mommy because she needed some tough love to be taught how to go to sleep. Most of the people who look down their noses at this either have kids who slept pretty well, or seem to get off on their priggish matryrdom. I don't know if I would have tried Ferber for night wakings --that was not our particular sleep problem, and it doesn't seem like it would work that well, quite frankly. I also wouldn't have tried it with a young baby --Maggie was 7 months and we both just felt she was ready. But I resent my own, thoughtful, lovng parental decision, which I am SURE was the right thing for my baby, being scoffed at.