Monday, February 13, 2006

JJEEEEEBus, women!

I have been followin the BlogDrama this weekend, and I have tis to say: What a bunch of bitches. Anyone who fanned that flame deserves complete ostracism. The whiners who are whining "But it was one was supposed to see it!" can go to hell. And the person who pulled this crap in the first place can ABSOLUTELY go to hell.

Here's the thing: I agree with some of the comments, probably (I couldn't get to the truly bitchy site). I am sure I have thought some of the mean things people have said. There are bloggers I used to love and I can't read any more.

But what purpose does it serve to say these things out loud? What is wrong with you that you can't, at worst, email about it off-blog with a like-minded blog friend? So you did this to get things off your chest? WHY do you need to? I just don't get how it serves anyone, much less the greater good, to tell someone they are boring, or ugly, or much less good-looking than their husband. Or to say it about them behing their backs. I learned a lonng time ag to not say anthing about anyone because it WILL get back to them, and they'll be hurt 10,000 times worse by hearing "Amy said your haircut is stupid" than if I just said to them "I don't think that cut flatters you well." When I started becoming part of online communities, I made a point to always say what I need to and own up. A TTC Board I was a part of got bombarded regularly by anonymous posters, and because I was a frequent contributor and had been around for a long time, I was one of the more favored targets. I said then that if you aren't willig to come out and say something, why do you feel the need to say it hiding behind a masked identity? This is 100 times worse.

The last time I let another blogger piss me off, I said so on her blog and wrote a post about the whole issue, not her personally. I didn't link to her blog or call her out because a)I like this person and b) it wasn't about HER, it was about the way I react to something of which her post was a strong example (the way I read it, which more than a few people told me was off the mark). And still, I felt I overreacted and wouldn't do the same thing again. If you hate someone's blog, STOP READING. Posting bitchy little comments about it serves no one and makes you look like the biggest asshole on the planet. Do these people think they are in any way being constructive? Or helpful? Or even funny? No, they are being btiches. And not the good kind. And the whiny excuses of those who've been called out make me furious.


Moxie said...

I think getting mad about something someone else says is usually more about what's going on with you than with the person who wrote it. When you got pissed about my cartoon it was because you were and are still feeling judged about doing Ferber with Maggie (FWIW, when I made the cartoon I thought I was skewering Weissbluth, not Ferber). When I've gotten just steamed about things I've read on other people's blogs it's usually because I'm absolutely sleep-deprived or feeling worthless or whatever. When your defenses are lowered it's really hard to just walk away.

And I think that's what happened with the big dust-up. She felt she didn't measure up to them in popularity, and she doesn't feel good about herself, so instead of just looking for something to make herself feel good she went the other way. All I know about her is from reading her comments on other people's blogs, but she's seemed less and less happy in the last few months.

BTW, your daughter was the second thing I thought when Jon Stewart's baby was born. The first was "Maggie's not a Jewish name!"

misschrisc said...

It was definitely a self esteem issue. All of the bloggers targeted are great writers,...coincidence or what?

I don't know what made them all think they would be able to hide behind a secret code and no one would find the posts! I mean why bother? Everyone knows everyone else so it's obvious someone will leak the "bad blog awards" to the winners.

What amazes me is how people never really change that much after High School. Essentially everyone stays the same, forming clicks and trashing their supposed friends, and wow that's just plain scary. Come on, get an adult life people and move beyond puberty!

tripmom827 said...

Hmmm...not sure what blogs you are reading, but, um wow!~ Just goes to show you that the "girl-politics" that are starting in 2nd grade with Trisha never really go away.

I will say that being a brand new mom (who had gone through infertility) was one of THE most defensive times of my life. I was pretty much a royal bitch who felt like I was constantly being judged by people who had no idea what I was going through. There was always that thought in the back of my mind that I really don't deserve these kids, that the infertility was some cosmic sign that was rightly saying I would not be a good mother. When people gave me suggestions, it felt obvious that they didn't think I deserved my children either. I didn't really seem able to process differing opinions as anything other than criticism. I wonder if, since I think you read alot of blogs of infertile new moms, they are feeling that way too ?. FWIW...