I too feel the need to put something positive up at the tipittytop of my blog now. So.
I am in the grip of Olympics fever. Although I feel even more keenly exactly how out of shape I have allowed myself to get watching the 34-year-old speedskater get to a gold medal last night. Still, i loved that she says motherhood has pushed her on to excel in her sport. The common view of motherhod is that it wrecks you, that you will never be the person you were and that that's somehow a bad thing. I know I am not, and I have probably never looked this bad in terms of skin, body and face. Pimples AND wrinkles, people. But if I look past the crow's feet, even my hyper critical self can see something in my eyes that has never been there before; a softness and a gentleness that this new experience has brought me. My smile is different too -- more ready, certainly, because Maggie is always making me laugh and giving me her huge, gorgeous grin that I cannot resist. But also, I don't know, more pure, maybe, because I know now what it's like to feel pure, unrestrained joy.
Workwise, I do think she's kind of taken my focus way from being a good writer. I used to be able to come up with great, easy ledes fast, now I couldn't write my way out of a paper bag lots of days. And I really don;t care about it in that life-or-death, super-competitive way I used to. But I think that has more to do with 12 years in the biz than having a baby. I am much more effcient and more motviatedto get stuff done and off my plate, so I can enjoy my time with her. I am reasonably good at time mannagement for like the first time ever, which amazes me and is another way Maggie hs made me better.
So yeah, motherhood does wreck you, and you never go back to your former self. And that's a good thing. Because of parenting these little people, we become deeper, wiser, kinder and better individuals, I think. And I'd rather thave that than any hope of ever achieveing a flat stomach, personally.