Wednesday, March 05, 2008


* I'm still working on the birth story. I'm to the morning I got out of the hospital in the unabridged version I am writing for myself, so soon.

* Will has had, since he's been born, massive gas and blackish green poops caused by too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk combined with bloody nipples (mine, not his), and a really bad cold courtesy of his big sister. Our pediatrician is going to think I have Munchausen's syndrome by proxy since we've called them after-hours twice and gone in three times (twice for routine appointments, but still, the kid's only 15 days old today). And now it looks like he might have picked up the stomach bug Maggie's been dealing with. I swear we do wash our hands a lot and use Purell and everything....

* I was enormously impressed with how well I was coping with two kids. Then Paul went back to work Monday. And I spent much of the day weeping. The babymoon is over now, and I never get to do this again, and I'm surprised at how much I hate the idea of this being my last baby. Plus, here's what happened Monday: Little sleep, because of Will's cold; Maggie developed some stomach bug and puked on the floor; Will was cranky and would not let me put him down one time all day long; and I had both of them crying hard at one point. Had to hold Will on one shoulder while I hugged Maggie with the other arm. I never got lunch or five minutes to pee all day long. Today, to complicate matters, was a snow day for Maggie's school and I have been up with Will since 5:30 am. Turns out Paul's work was also closed for the day and he is home, and he is already working half-weeks this week and next. So thank God, but also Holy CRAP are things going to go to hell in a handbasket week after next. And I was actually feeling pretty up for the challenge of both kids home today. We even had a tea party, which was as cute as one would expect.

* Except for the fact I can't seem to keep him potentially life-threatening-germ-free, Will is a wonderful baby. He's cute, very alert, almost never cries and always has a good reason when he does, and seems to like me already. We're so lucky. If he could just stay not sick for more than a day I'd be over the moon. He's got big round, dark gray eyes I think will turn brown, and a male patern baldness widow's peak hairline that is characteristic of the men in my mother's family and is completely hilarious on a newborn. He looks like a little pissed-off middle-aged man sometimes, especially since he also has forehead wrinkles and pudgy cheeks, which makes me giggle whenever he shoots me a look. He'll stare intently (and cross-eyed) at us and pucker his lips into a perfect little circle, as if really trying hard to figure us out. He's also got long, narrow feet and long toes. He's a beautiful baby with a very nice temperament and I am hoping I can not break him with the germs and so on. And did I mention the snuffly newborn noises when he nurses? Kills me.

* I do miss my alone time with Maggie as much as I thought I would, and she misses me. No way out of this one but through, I think--eventually Will will be more scheduled and more interactive, which will leave me time I know I can set aside for her and also be more fun for her, because he'll actually respond to her (he's fascinated with her already, which is adorable). Still, I'm glad I anticipated this and tried to lay the groundwork.

So, to sum up, we're adjusting, probably doing OK overall, the baby is adorable, but I would love advice from readers with two or more about how I can give Will adequate stimulation and attention and love while still doing the same for a little three year old that needs her mommy desperately right now. And if you can figure out how I can do this while still earning a living, so much the better.


caramama said...

No advice, just sympathy! Those first few weeks--who am I kidding, months were pretty rough for me. And that was just with one!

He sounds absolutely precious! :-)

caro said...

I will be watching this spot intently, looking for all the great advice you will receive...because I have little to offer myself! It is just damn hard.

For me it got much easier when the baby was old enough to wear around in the sling more (never could make that work with a floppy newborn), and then easier still when she could more reliably be put down for naps rather than sleeping in my arms so much.

I posted about this a while ago: Singing is the one thing I know about that can sometimes meet all three of our needs at once. More so as baby gets older, I think.

apt said...

"snuffly newborn nursing noises..." sigh. I read that as I was picking up the phone. I'm sure my caller thought the long pause was odd. I needed a minute to experience the deliciousness.

I've been checking here for an update, and am so glad to see it today!

Hooray for a beautiful son.

I was kind of hoping someone sneaks into the recovery room of a mom who has just delivered #2 and bestows capsules of extra time and energy. No?

portuguesa nova said...

I wish we'd actually met before, like, I'd actually gotten my butt out of bed early enough to attend your church that you recommended long ago...Because if you had, I am unemployed for at least another week, and I have a 16-month-old who would love nothing more than to follow Maggie around for hours on end reveling in her big-girlness and I would so so so so be willing to hold that baby while you take a nap or read a book or use the bathroom.

Consider that an offer.

And if it's too creepy, then please accept my sincerest "hang in there".

tripmom827 said...

It sounds like you're right on track. I, of course, never went from one to two, but I do know that feeling in the pit og your stomach that you are neglecting your other child(ren), but there's nothing you can do because you are constantly handling baby. Just remember that this constant care/nursing will not be forever. I think by 6-8 weeks I had some semblence of myself back in order. Also, focus on the postive things that have a sibling will bring into Maggie's life. Some of the exact reasons you wanted a sibling for her are probably some of the exact things she is getting out of having one right now. She'll get the playmate stuff later. Right now, it's the painful sharing and caring for others phase, but it's good. I know you'll find enough balance to make sure there are no long lasting ill effects. And, take every single offer of help that comes your way! Seriously :) Can't wait to see some brother/sister some! post some! ( y'know inbetween nursing, caring for a 3 year old and a dh and I don't know, maybe bathing yourself.)

kate said...

I can't give you advice about the 3-year old, i fail miserably at this. The only reason Chloe gets any intellectual stimulation at all is because she goes to preschool. I am a sucky mommy!