shudder shudder shudder

Sorry for them long absence, folks: vacation, deadlines,and did I mention I broke my fucking LAPTOP? Well I did, and for some reason the Internet connection on this machine upstairs is slowwwwww.

I have several posts brewing, but I have to share what happened here today.

Many of you who know me in real life know of my serious phobia of birds. It's mostly chickens, but pretty much all birds terrify me. Ducks are okay. Anyway, I am not usually confronted with anything more scary than a sparrow, perhaps some urban seagulls or pigeons who seem to be able to smell my fear and never fly away when I approach.

So today, Maggie is napping and I am typing away in my office overlooking the backyard, when I see something large float to the ground right by my garden. Our house backs up to a cemetery, which is old and wooded and pretty, so we get a lot of unusual wildlife for a city household.From the corner of my eye it looked like maybe the kid next door's ball or something.

It was a HAWK.

Or maybe an eagle.

At any rate,this motherfucker was HUGE. Like probably taller than Maggie, brown and white, wide wings and enormous, vicious yellow talons. I've never seen a bird this size outside of the zoo. (All of you who know me in real life are thinking right now that perhaps I am exaggerating just a teensy bit because of my phobia. I assure you, I am not).

"OH MY GOD!!!!" I shout. I get up from my chair and watch it as it half-flies over to the little strip of plants (weeds) next to the driveway. It's clearly trying to catch, or re-catch, something.

I call Paul.

"Hello?"

"There is a gigantic HAWK in our yard."

"Wow."

"No kidding. This thing is enormous."

"Hmm."

"Yeah. You know that chipmunk I caught eating our tomatoes right off the vine? I don't think it's going to be bothering us anymore."

It's been half an hour and I still have goosebumps. It flew around the yard (Okay, that was kind of cool), sat on our fence for a bit and has now settled three yards away on top of a telephone pole.I am still scared to leave the house.

UPDATE: I just looked and he's gone. Thank God. This thing could make off with Maggie. Or either cat (luckily they don't go outside). But my dog does. Hmmmmmm....