I keep trying to think about what else I can put here. I am really not Debbie Downer all the time, I swear, while not optimistic and sunny, certainly not a "poor me" draggy type.
So hmmm...who wants to hear about Deustchland Uber Alles Woman in my childbirth class? I got sidetracked. First night of class, we come in and there is this couple from Germany, our age or maybe a little younger. Cool, I think, my girlfriend T. is fluent in German and her fiancee is actually from Germany. Maybe we'll have something in common with them.
Oh. My. Word.
As soon, as SOON, as the teacher mentioned the word "epidural" she starts. "But you can have drugs here? In Germany they do not give the drugs and say it is bad. Why do you do that?" The teacher explains that the epidural doesn't cross the placenta and that yes, it's pretty common here.
"But in Germany..."
So after the teacher wrests the class back onto topic, we start again. And on every new topic, we get to hear more abut how things are done in Germany --with just that little extra-annoying hint of "and it's SO MUCH BETTER there." She wants to give birth naked, because that's how it's done there. She wants to be in the tub, because that's how it's done there. When should she start drinking red raspberry leaf tea, because EVERYONE does it there and it's not done here as a part of regualr prenatal care but why? By the last class, Paul and I were daring each other to yell "SO GO BACK TO GERMANY!!"
And our teacher actually didn't tell her she couldn't do any of these things. Even giving birth naked, she said, is fine, just let the nurses know that was her preference so they weren't surprised when they came in. Still , she had this very challenging attitude toward everything she was told, as if we stupid Americans couldn't possibly be of help to her.
And, another huge pet peeve, she would turn to her husband and just start talking, right in the middle of class. Fine, if there were a lot of us, but there were THREE COUPLES including them. Very rude to our nice L and D nurse instructor. It didn't ruin the class, our teacher did a good job and took time for everyone's questions and concerns, and I feel a lot more prepared. but I learned one very important thing:
Do NOT give birth in Germany.
I barely like letting my husband see me naked, much less a random nurse. I am going to try to go as long as I can drug free, but I have a low pain tolerance (okay, I am a big fat wussy wuss) and if drugs, lovely drugs, can turn birthing my baby into something I don't percieve as painful and horrible and allow me to concentrate on the beautiful and rapturous miracle it really is, bring 'em on, early and often.
And I don't like red raspberry leaf tea.